You are allowed to want more than another situationship.

I grew up in a small, conservative town, in a Hispanic culture where being gay was something you learned to hide before you even had the words for it. That world did not leave much room for a boy like me, so I stayed quiet, and I stayed small, and I told myself that wanting more was not for people like us.

Coming out took me far longer than it should have. I did not start dating men until I was eighteen, and by then I felt years behind everyone else, still learning who I was while it seemed like the world already knew who it wanted me to be. The only door open to me was the apps, and back then that mostly meant Grindr. It was built for hookups and fast, disposable connection, and without ever saying it out loud, it taught me that this was all I was allowed to want.

For a long time I confused attention for intimacy and chemistry for compatibility. I kept meeting men who could not stay, and I kept quietly wondering what was wrong with me.

Everything shifted the day I stopped asking who would choose me and started asking what I actually wanted. Once I was honest about that, I could finally recognize it in someone else. I met a man who wanted the same things I did, and the dating that had felt impossible for years finally started to make sense.

How To Find Him is that clarity, written down. It exists so you do not have to spend years learning these lessons the hard way, and so you can skip straight to becoming someone ready for the relationship you actually want.